[personal profile] floorpigeon
For some reason, it pisses me off when people say 'you are all you need to be happy'. This is... odd. I mean, this is regarding a question in ask.metafilter about whether it's 'ok' to be alone forever (after dumping one's SO). Most people were like, 'yeah'. I was like, 'yes and no, because when we grow as human beings, ultimately we grow towards possibility and openness, which by nature includes the possibility of connection with other people'.


Just saying, 'yes, I'm alone-- though with a partner-- and my life is great just the way it is, and I don't have to change for anyone! suck it, world!' is so juvenile, isn't it? I mean, I think I'm frustrated because I used to admire that. On some level I still admire it. I mean, flipping the finger to the world, that's badass, right? Right?

Eh. A part of me is afraid my stance means they have to take away my antisocial rebel card. Dammit!! I never cashed it for anything. Technically, maybe that's the point. >_____>;
--

Speaking of things that annoy me (and maybe shouldn't), the 'Queer by Choice' movement annoys me, oh yes. Actually, more broadly, people choosing feelings annoy me insofar as they imply I can/should choose mine. I'm kind of stubborn and old-fashioned about my feelings. I think some people are more flexible than others in that regard; what bugs me is the 'everything is up for grabs' people who think there is no gender and/or spoon tend to be pretty inflexible about that. I also think it's disingenuous to go on about doing things by choice so blithely that still torment and entrap people experiencing them (esp. teenagers) so much.

I mean, obvs. you can choose to do unnatural things you wouldn't normally do, but what's so great about that? If it comes naturally, then you are what you think you 'chose'; if it doesn't, then you're a poseur. If you are in between two things, maybe you're a third thing entirely, maybe you're trying too hard, maybe you're delusional, and so on. I struggle a lot with my bias in that I tend to think queerness is more awesome than non-queerness, but people who just take that for granted piss me off. Well, people who think they can choose their identity rather than discover it are frustrating to talk to in general. Gender and orientation aren't defined by political parties or belief systems, just because they function as an aspect of culture and can thus be oppressive and dependent on beliefs. Just because you use a lens, that doesn't mean the lens has to use you. Further, just because people are subjective and/or crazy enough to proclaim reality is a tomato, it doesn't mean reality is a potato, all vegetables should be replaced with fruits, or fruits are equivalent to vegetables. Reality is reality; you can choose to ignore it, but reality doesn't care.

This may be splitting hairs, but I think you can create but not decide who you are. Well, I'm never going to be a fan of people who're not authentic, so I shouldn't try.

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the one who stumbled

January 2015

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