[personal profile] floorpigeon
My ovaries think a former football player -- now Texan research scientist at A&M who works with "flame-resistant materials" -- is dream guy material, for sure. I could live with the sideburns, even.

It's just. Looking at this guy, technically I know that romance novels are fiction, but for a moment one forgets. I mean, really? Really??? He's got to be like, really dull at parties. Well, he's just an engineer. Engineers are like the jocks of the sciences anyway, right... :>

And in bigger, better science news, a physicist at a DARPA conference came up with an engineless starship. I, of course, find this a lot more hot, even if he's also not my type.

Date: 2011-10-18 02:51 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] stellabelle.livejournal.com
But he spells his name wrong. (JAIME? What ARE you thinking.) And no, no one should have to live with those sideburns. You deserve far better sideburns.

Have I convinced your ovaries to go for Engineless Starship guy?


Date: 2011-10-19 07:23 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] floorpigeon.livejournal.com
HELLO!! :D :D! (?) :)

Um, yeah, that's ok, I'm marrying Mr Cheekbones (http://farm1.static.flickr.com/61/203127242_3f79b93519.jpg) anyway, or so my ovaries tell me. Then, when it's time to talk about nuclear physics, I'll draw little cartoons and whistle...

Date: 2011-10-19 07:55 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] stellabelle.livejournal.com
Mr Cheekbones looks far too pretty. Like, he's hot and he knows it and would probably spend hours in the bathroom, primping till his hair looked Just So. You'd be stumbling over Nicky Clarke straighteners and skinny jeans and you would slowly be driven mad. The last straw would be when he decided it would be okay to house his friend's new art installation in the living room till the gallery gave him a green light. Then you would rip out your hair and move yourself into the attic. Uh.

Date: 2011-10-19 08:06 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] floorpigeon.livejournal.com
Yeah, the problem with hot people is that they are often vain. Or just very unavailable (http://reenka.deviantart.com/favourites/?offset=264#/d980u6) (and I have had that one on my wall for years, and I still don't feel any closer to him). I just get the urge to pose them and stare and stuff. Maybe they could just sit still for awhile every day while I paint them?

...Or I could just stick with fictional characters (http://reenka.deviantart.com/favourites/?offset=264#/dfrxrz), that's always an option. :>

Date: 2011-10-19 08:10 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] stellabelle.livejournal.com
Awwww Harry! I miss the happy days. :D

Meanwhile I am writing what appears to be Byron/Shelley crackfic so what the hell do I know about reality and unavailable men.

Date: 2011-10-19 08:14 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] floorpigeon.livejournal.com
!!....!!!! hahah I've just been reading about Teh Gayness of Sir Shelley (relevant to my interests since I've been writing about one of both his and Byron's plays). Byron wrote a play called 'Manfred' that is very cracky & over-the-top hilarious. Byronic heroes are like, the ultimate crack.

Anyway, I'd love to see it. I am now convinced Shelley was a poor, dreamy closeted boy (and Byron, of course, a poor scandalously slap-happy slut).

Date: 2011-10-19 08:21 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] stellabelle.livejournal.com
"Manfred" is great. Especially when you've been on the merlot for a while. Shelley was, of course, a staunch believer in free love--but more importantly, Byron would sleep with anything that moved, and since Byron/Shelley/Mary Shelley basically definitely happened, well. What are boys to do while she is locked away writing some novel of hers, what is it, a monster made of dead people parts? I certainly have never read it. Hah!

At the moment Byron is railing at Shelley for wanting to invite Keats to his villa for the summer, all, "I know how you'll be. 'Oh, poor John, he has a complaint of the lungs! I must rub liniment on his chest while the rest of you leave us quite alone.'"

But Byron, of course, always gets the last word. Unless Percy gags him? Which could work. HM.

Date: 2011-10-19 08:33 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] floorpigeon.livejournal.com
Aw, man, I totally missed out reading 'Manfred' sober (and then trying to write a Serious Essay about it, which is just a lost cause). 'Frankenstein' was great. It was depressing 'cause the same person espousing Shelley's great gayness was also convinced he wrote 'Frankenstein', which... I hope not, but it's a good book (surprisingly). The mainstream idea is that apparently Percy just edited her to the point where he like, rewrote a bunch of passages himself, haha. I guess if my husband was Shelley, I wouldn't say no either. It's almost entirely focused on male friendship/antagonism with no believable m/f relationship (which is actually a point in the favor of Shelley having quite a hand in it).

Apparently, though, Shelley had a True Love from Oxford or some such (who got jealous and tried to steal his women, in true slash tradition). Anyway, the world would be cruel and unfair if the threesome never happened. I hope Byron also helped edit ('cause that's my idea of post-coital flirting, y'know).

I totally think Percy gags him. Percy is quite particular about things, and Byron talking always ruins a good buzz. Hahahah oh man, "liniment". *swoons* Percy is actually a slut in training. Well, John needs a lot of work, probably, but come to think of it, Percy's more likely to have some success than Byron, who would just be too obvious, somehow.

Date: 2011-10-19 08:48 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] stellabelle.livejournal.com
I had to write a Serious Essay about 'Manfred' as well--much more fun with merlot, and I still got an A! In re 'Frankenstein', I'm sure you know the story of how they all holed themselves up in (Percy and Mary's villa, I believe?) and did nothing but go mental on opium and talk about the occult, which led to a book writing challenge, from which sprung 'Frankenstein' & Polidori's 'The Vampyre.' As 'Frankenstein' was initially anonymously published, I've no doubt Percy aided her in the editing (& I've read things which back this up).

I'm not sure about Byron helping to edit, but I do know Byron & Percy Shelley often shared (sometimes scathing) reviews of each other's works, which then, obviously, led to many, booze-fueled make-out sessions.

I actually DID encounter Byron/Keats once, which may have traumatized me for all times. I was aghast. "Keats would NEVER!" I said. My friend was all, "Yeah, but are you SURE." But Keats was both appalled by Byron's rudeness and of his harsh criticism of Keats's work, while Percy championed him and was a great support to him, so that, at least, is possible.

I also think Percy would be a total tease, like, all sprawled out on Byron's bed one evening, and going "Oh, my Lord," when Byron walks in, with his eyes all dilated and his lips red. And. I need to stop, don't I. (...Don't I?)

Date: 2011-10-19 09:00 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] floorpigeon.livejournal.com
That is a beautiful vision you have, right there. Being the dreamy-innocent type lets you get away with the worst lines. Hahah, yes. He had to have called him Lord Byron. Maybe without batting his eyelashes though (unless he was high). I didn't remember specifically about the opium. It's unsurprising that Shelley never finished whatever it was he started for the contest, hahah. Probably Mary had the least of it, then. I totally think mutually scathing reviews = hot. Forget fighting over Quidditch... no, fighting about a bad metaphor choice, now that's sexy right there.

Keats... yeah, he'd never. But then again, maybe he was feeling vulnerable and horny? But still, I just see him as such a proper, sincere boy. He probably wasn't as unworldly as he's portrayed, though, but the part about Byron criticizing his work would be the real killer, at least if he doesn't hit back. And boy, is there room to hit back.

Hahah oh man. I love that catty!Shelley thing. Why did people stop wearing those shirts-- you know those white pirate shirts. They go so well with wine-stained lips and debauchery, oh yes.

Date: 2011-10-19 09:12 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] stellabelle.livejournal.com
I imagine them all being on opium. All the time. Shelley did for sure, so Mary probably did, and Byron certainly had a taste for claret, though of what else, one never knows. I used to know these things. I have forgotten now.
...WAS IT PEYOTE. No, that was just that great dream I had.

There was a letter Shelley wrote to Byron (though it may have been v.v.?) about his latest work, telling Byron to 'do his worst to it,' as Byron had done his worst to Shelley. NNNNNGH. HOT. And then, completely unrelatedly, there was a letter Byron wrote, asking Shelley if they could not contrive of a way to be together one summer, and Byron specifically requested Shelley come alone (all while offering his fondest regards to "Mrs S," of course). And then of course there were the boating trips, just the two of them, where Byron inspired Shelley to write some of his greatest work ('Hymn to Intellectual Beauty' for one. PROBABLY as Byron lounged, languid from the Mediterranean heat, upon a couch, and allowed Shelley to feed him grapes). Do we need more proof than this, I ask you??

I don't KNOW why people stopped wearing those shirts, but clearly Percy would appear to Byron one night, when Byron was feeling desolate, ethereal in a white dressing gown and promising him beauty, and joy and jsdkfjdsklfjkldsa. This ALWAYS HAPPENS TO ME when I am reading wistful letters and beautiful poetry and how Byron was a man ho.

Date: 2011-10-19 10:04 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] floorpigeon.livejournal.com
At some point in my mind, Shelley merged with my vision of my ex-boyfriend and like, Jim Morrison. It's disconcerting sometimes. Like I know him. Then I remember, no, wait.... anyway, so yes, he'd do peyote if he could. And join a prog rock band. *headdesk* No, I mean I'm sure he wouldn't... it's tragic how limited their selection of drugs was in those days. Poor Coleridge, I'm pretty sure no one writes hot epics about him. I just have this conviction he could not have even clean-shaven or entirely hygienic (frequently bathed).

YES. Indeed that is hot. I was feeling bad for a second 'cause in real life musicians and poets don't like, hang out all day and do art critiques and shag like bunnies, but then I realized this is why we have fiction. :) I totally think they were all like, secretly earnest. This is totally true of Byron. In fact, his whole angst seems to be this one big exercise of suppressing his desperate desire to be earnest. Which is to say, I'm pretty sure Oscar Wilde was more badass than him. Hahaha talk about hot pairings, though. Wow. 'Hymn to Intellectual Beauty'! Grapes! Well, maybe he took breaks and tried to rouse Byron from his stupor. Which seems to be the problem with being constantly high (but what do I know).

HAHAH Oh man. White dressing gown. <3<3. Shoulder-length hair. Making up poetry on the fly. Feeling peevish if Byron was too out of it to properly appreciate. They should go on a road-trip, but it's hard with only carriages. But still, manly bonding time, aww. I think if they didn't do anything improper it would just be so cute (especially if they just napped and talked about poetry and had silent boat trips together). ...Maybe if they were twelve. I am a bad person.

Date: 2011-10-19 11:25 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] stellabelle.livejournal.com
Shelley has written Byron an elegy. Man, is it beautiful. HAH.

Date: 2011-10-19 11:43 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] floorpigeon.livejournal.com
Ooh, really? Awesome. Shelley would be happy. :D :D

...I now have to look it up, of course. Um, do you mean the one to Keats? He does call Byron 'pilgrim of eternity' or some such. <3 I guess that's sort of like a monk except with more sex and booze. :>

Date: 2011-10-19 11:44 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] floorpigeon.livejournal.com
Oh wait, you mean 'Shelley has written Byron an elegy'... in your head.

.....funny how these things start to blur. :>

Date: 2011-10-19 11:46 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] stellabelle.livejournal.com

With two competent men at the helm, Byron finds himself content to lounge on the deck, languid from the heady Mediterranean sun. "What the devil are you doing?" he asks suddenly, voice thick from exhaustion.

"I am writing your elegy," Shelley replies, a bit too much glee in his voice. "Should you like me to read it to you?"

"Oh, yes," Byron says, voice flat. "Of course, I should like it very much. I should like it almost as much as the walk you promised me would last one hour."

"It wasn't so bad, was it?"

"We spent the night in the woods!" says Byron. "I had to sleep upon pine needles. I awoke with strange creatures assaulting me, and my hair had turned green!"

"They were ants," Percy reminds him, "and it was moss. You lived, did you not?"


Percy clears his throat: "Right. I shall begin now: Of lofty climes and deepest seas / We shall speak not: we speak of fleas / Bit to death, our golden boy / Beneath his pretentious trompe l'oiel / We mourn for him, as brave and dear / Then scuttle off to find some beer."

"Enough," Byron says, though his eyes give him away. "I shall have my revenge. And now, come sit with me. You are to be my servant boy, and feed me grapes till dusk."

"What happens after dusk?" Percy asks, a little frightened now.

"I'm not entirely sure, but someone is going to have to swab these decks."

Date: 2011-10-19 11:52 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] floorpigeon.livejournal.com
<3<3<3<3 I definitely should not be giggling so happily while at work people are trying to write Serious Papers. hee. The fleas! The scuttling! The beginning almost sounding like Shelley! hee! And Byron's eyes giving him away! so cute! :D! I am ashamed that I'm not sure what swabbing decks entails... it can't possibly be cleaning, right. Maybe on his knees, in his nightie...hm.

Date: 2011-10-19 11:57 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] stellabelle.livejournal.com
They're meant to be sailing, thus the swabbing the decks (like, mopping or scouring them). It would most certainly have to be done on his knees, with his shirt undone and all sweaty from the heat.
WHY IS THIS SO HOT. It shouldn't be. It is WRONG, right. Right. Wrong.
(And now I am going to continue to write about wrestling ink-stained boys, because I have no boundaries or sense of moral decency.)

Date: 2011-10-20 12:04 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] floorpigeon.livejournal.com
It is totally in no way wrong (and I know, because this is clearly my expert opinion). Byron would totally get a kick out of it. And possibly take notes. :>

Date: 2011-10-20 12:05 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] floorpigeon.livejournal.com
Note, I had to resist bad puns about Byron's lording it over Shelley.... *facepalm*

Date: 2011-10-19 07:25 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mildlunacy.livejournal.com
PS: I guess I can just blame his mom for the name thing. Also, Jaime is how GRR Martin spells the name of this totally buff knight that has the hots for his evil sister..... Not sure if that's a plus or not.


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the one who stumbled

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